SIGNS OF UNHEALTHY BOUNDARIES
(From “Positive Effective Parenting,” by Carol Lynne, 2012)
Telling all.
Talking at an intimate level at the first meeting.
Falling in love with a new acquaintance.
Falling in love with anyone who reaches out.
Being overwhelmed by a person – preoccupied.
Acting on the first sexual impulse.
Being sexual for your partner, not yourself.
Going against personal values or rights to please others.
Not noticing when someone else displays inappropriate boundaries.
Accepting food, gifts, touch, or sex that you don’t want.
Touching a person without asking.
Taking as much as you can get for the sake of getting.
Giving as much as you can give for the sake of looking good.
Allowing someone to take as much as they can from you.
Letting others direct your life.
Letting others describe your reality.
Letting others define you.
Believing others can anticipate your needs, or read your mind.
Expecting others to fill your needs automatically without asking.
Falling apart so someone will take care of you.
Self-abuse.
Sexual and physical abuse.
Food and chemical abuse.
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Become aware of the boundaries that apply to you. They cause low self-esteem. Practice, role play, dialogue, write how you might be different in specific situations.
Be patient. Change takes time. Your behavior was learned, and as such you have every opportunity to learn positive behavior that supports your inner spirit.